I was fortunate enough to track down one of DC’s preeminent Shanghai Surprises and conduct this tasty little interview over she-mail:
What’s your favorite summer past-time?
That’s a very confusing question. Do you mean a past-time that I (Summer Camp) do? Or a past-time that I do during the summer months? Let me think of one that answers both questions. Skinny-dipping in strangers’ pools. I adore seeing the reactions on their faces when they see me doing the backstroke or a cannonball into their pool. I usually try to leave them a souvenir, too. Something very personal if you know what I mean.
Describe your routine getting ready?
Drink a lot. Pay someone to make me look pretty. Stumble onto the stage.
What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever done?
Another hard question. Do I have to pick just one? I did a mock abortion on stage once. I raped myself in a video once. I took a faux dump on stage once and ate it.
Hmm…a couple years ago, CRACK filmed a video called Passion of the Camp. It was our take on the Passion story. You know the one, where Jesus has a dinner with his friends, then someone betrays him, then he wanders around carrying a cross while people shout epithets at him? In the end, he gets nailed to a cross or something?
Well, in our version, Summer Camp is persecuted by the Easter Bunny and she has to carry a cross all over Washington, DC. We filmed a scene in which Summer carries the cross in front of the White House. W’s Capitol Police didn’t like that and asked us to leave. Later that day, we needed to film a scene inside a church. We ended up lying to the church attendant so he would let us film our scene inside the church. I don’t remember what we said, but it definitely was not the truth. If I believed in Hell, I’d probably be going to there.
What song should play when you enter a room?
“9 to 5” by Dolly Parton or “If You Don’t Want To Fuck Me, Fuck Off” by Jayne Wayne County
If your autograph could be an action, what would it be?
Farting while sipping expensive champagne, then laughing hysterically.
Describe a painful childhood memory.
When I was 13, I auditioned for a community theater production of CATS. I went into the audition looking like a star. I gave the casting directors my best triple threat audition: 16 bars of Sheena Easton’s Sugar Walls, a dramatic monologue from Jaqueline Susann’s Valley of the Dolls, and an interpretative dance inspired by Fraggle Rock. I didn’t get the part. That’s the day I discovered the bitter taste of rejection. But it’s okay, because later that day, I also discovered the soothing effects of alcohol and anonymous sex.
What will the name of your autobiography be?
Anything For A Dollar: The Summer Camp Story
And, finally, what is your signature beverage of choice?
A Pink Flamingo.
I’ll be honest, I went online to find a drink with a clever name. When I saw this one, I immediately thought of my all-time favorite movie, Pink Flamingos by John Waters. Divine or John Waters somehow inspires everything I do. If I could meet one person dead or alive, it would be Divine.
The ingredients for a Pink Flamingo are:
- 1 1/2 oz vodka
- 1 1/2 oz Cointreau
- orange juice
- dash of sloe gin
This is how it is described: As varied as all the Pink Flamingos out there are – they’re all great summer drinks and perfect for parties. I think that sums up Summer Camp in a nutshell.
Check out more Summer Camp as she takes over the inter-webs: