I saw a recent blog post which highlighted 15 “gay” TV characters that never came out. Seeing as though I am too young to have watched most of those characters, and in honor of yesterday’s “National Coming Out Day” I decided to put together my own list.
I give you, the top five gayest male TV characters that never come out:
5. Niles the Butler
Niles was the butler for Mr. Sheffield on one of the campiest sitcoms of all time, “The Nanny.” Niles was known for dishing out one-liners and quips to everyone in sight, most notably to C.C., the New York socialite, business partner to Mr. Sheffield. When asked in one episode what his last name was he replied, “I only have one name… like Cher!”
4. Salem the Cat
Salem is the sharp-tongued, talking cat on “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.” Like Niles the Butler he is known for delivering puns, one-liners and questionable advice to those around him. Some of his favorite pastimes are: playing with yarn, lint spotting, surfing the internet and reading Sabrina’s diary. FAIRY KITTY!
3. Vanity Smurf
Wikipedia says it perfectly, without even attempting to prove my point: “Vanity Smurf is the epitome of a Narcissist. He has a flower in his hat, and he often holds a hand mirror, staring into his own reflection, which he kisses often. In the Hanna-Barbera cartoon, Vanity speaks in an effeminate voice.”
Although Snagglepuss first sashayed onto the scene in the late 1950’s, Hannah Barberra cartoons have always maintained their popularity (i think?). He is a pink lion (gay), makes constant allusions to theatrical stage directions (gay gay), and became famous for his signature catchphrase, “Heavens to Murgatroyd!” (GAY GAY GAY). No-one has any idea what the eff Murgatroyd is, but gay men love to make things up.
1. Waylon Smithers
If you aren’t convinced about this executive assistant’s sexual orientation you’re probably a tea-bagger and should KYS. For you viewing pleasure: