Floppy-Haired Hipster Cows

Jaded hipster cows say…

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Advanced Emoticons

Because sometimes 🙂 just doesn’t cut it.

=^_^= – I am a furry, and I identify as a cat

|:-( – I wish I didn’t have a unibrow

:*D – I still have glitter on my face from Saturday night!

J:-( – I just got a bad haircut

o-<–< o+< – I’m currently giving birth

( . )( .) – I have a lop-sided boob, unfortunately

.-) – Life is good, even with one eye

(_*_) – You’re an asshole

Wacky Wavy Inflatable… Gaga

Inspiration can come from anywhere, it seems…

Feeling Lost?

At what point will it be inappropriate to post things about Lost? I guess, if you just post inappropriate things, you  never have to worry!

Would You Like Wheels With That?

I’ve always been perplexed by people that have backpacks with wheels.  Suitcase or backpack? Suitcase… or backpack?

I think they’re stupid. Luckily there are only five types of people who use them:

1. Flight Attendants (but they always make poor decisions)

2. Door-to-Door Salespeople (they’re prolly gonna murder you)

3. Child Geniuses (who are 16, already in college and too frail to carry organic chemistry books)

4. Wealthy Older Gay Men with Tiny Dogs (Princess Cupcake Sprinkles wants to come to the mall too!! He loves to shop)

5. Mexicans Fleeing Arizona (Wheels on the freeway, straps on the sand)

On Art and Power

One of Banksy’s more famous pieces is “Balloon Girl” – a simple image of a young girl in a dress with a balloon — just out of reach — being blown away by the wind. Many have pondered the meaning of this piece… is she letting go, or reaching out? Both imply a range of complex emotional decisions that don’t seem to fit with the notion of childhood innocence.

You know why I love this image? Because I like to keep shit simple, and by simple I mean funny.

Funny = stealing a balloon from a child and making them watch as you let it go.

Step 1: Find a child with balloon(s)

Step 2: WHOOOSHHHH

Step 3: Point and laugh

Final thought: Art has the power to reveal the humanity behind man’s cruelest intentions. (Yes, I made that up).

(Images via Flickr)

Summer’s Eve

So. Close… Summer.

Summer (or Frappuccino Season if you’re an avid Act Normalite) is when America comes alive. It’s so close I can taste it: shorts, BBQ’s, flip-flops, margaritas, sunny dispositions, hula-hoops and the beach. Sorry I’ve been lagging in posts lately, the lead-up to summer is a busy time at work. After memorial day I’ll have much more free time. So chill the eff out, already.

Sucks if you live in Montana… it’s snowing there. NOT HERE SUCKASSSSSS!!

(Photo via suttonhoo, Flickr)